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We still love the stimulation that this toy provides, but we have encountered some issues with battery longevity during long-term testing. Although Zumio covers the toy with a two-year warranty, all three units we’ve long-term tested have exhibited a decline in battery life toward the end of their warranty period. Additionally, the Zumio S—which is designed to be stored in its charger—has a longer-than-usual charging period (16 hours). The Tulip features a rolling ball bearing at the flat tip of the toy, which feels quite strong against a fingertip but provides less-intense stimulation when pressed against a clitoris. Positioning it is complicated, and our testers said it did not provide enough stimulation to be satisfying. The Jasmine has a small, flexible, vibrating "tongue" set in a loop that is supposed to encircle the clitoris.

That said, don’t let this derail you from getting what you want. You aren’t setting your kids up for years of therapy just by ordering a dildo. If they do discover your toys, they won’t be traumatized or scarred for life