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I’m just now exiting a 20-year relationship with a man, and I have my first girlfriend with whom I am deeply in love. The process of discovery is more exciting and affirming than I ever thought possible. I am astounded every day at the sexual creativity that’s possible between two women, and the liberation from heterosexual norms and roles has been a revelation.

In more than a decade of writing about sex toys, I’ve tested and reviewed over 400 of them. Many toys quickly reveal themselves to be disappointing in some way—a weak motor, a jarring shape, and confusing controls are some common reasons I’ll dismiss a toy as subpar. The best ones, on the other hand, stand out over multiple sessions, consistently performing well on metrics like ease of use, versatility, and (of course) pleasure.

Sexual activity can provide some assistance with each of these. It can help pass the time, at least a minute for some, longer for others. It can stimulate the release of hormones such as dopamine, the so-called "happiness hormone", endorphins, the so-called "natural pain reliever", and oxytocin, the so-called "love hormone." Sounds like a good thing, right? However, there’s one problem with having sex with someone else. As I mentioned previously for&nbsp