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You and your buddy might both be tops, or you might be a side. Or maybe you just don’t have time to prepare for penetration - and we get it. That shouldn’t stop you from making a connection when the moment hits. "Our bodies’ natural bacterial balance can easily be thrown off by the foreign bacteria lodged in the crevices of toys or food," Switzer says. You don’t get to know whether you’re making a mistake by opening up the relationship, or by keeping it closed. Some couples break up over nonmonogamy, others over monogamy, and still more over issues that had nothing to do with the relationship structure.

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She’d like to see companies bake in the ability for a person to stop the flow of data to and from their device at any time. None of the experts WIRED spoke to were aware of any real-world incidents of hacking into smart sex toys. "Because there likely has not been a real world situation yet we still have time to prevent and anticipate the consequences," says Stepanovich. Munro notes it would be really hard to know if this had happened, unless hackers had taken the data and used it in a sextortion scheme.

If you are the first time, we feel your struggle